at the memorial service for my friend a few weeks ago, her husband talked about how my dear friend was able to see beauty in unexpected places. how she had an ability to find the beauty in anything, or anyone. it was how he described their relationship - she was able to see past his rough edges to find the beauty that lay underneath. she was able to make you feel like you were incredibly valued, interested, loved, and beautiful. what an amazing spirit!
that sentiment of seeing goodness and beauty everywhere resonated with me and inspired me to try to notice the beauty in my life more. sometimes it has been easy - when hiking in the mountains, when my partner is being sweet to me, when eating a delicious meal. and sometimes it has been so much harder - when fighting with a loved one, when stressed out, when physically hurting.
my beautiful mama (and beautiful mountains)
i can believe that all people are essentially good, but that is sometimes a hard belief to live. as i have meditated and attempted to live this belief in essential goodness and beauty, i have realized the importance of pausing. i can't appreciate that which i do not have take the time to see. so i am trying to move slower, trying to take pauses (even when it feels silly), trying to be compassionate even in the tough situations.
the real breakthrough for me was that the more compassionate and loving i am to myself, the more naturally i am compassionate and loving to others. i have always known that i have some rough edges, but i am starting to see the value in being compassionate to myself about them. as my interior world becomes a more loving and accepting place, i am able to put more of these things out into the world.
"and so it happened again, the daily miracle whereby interiority opens out and brings to bloom the million-petalled flower of being here, in the world, with other people." - zadie smith
